mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
he quoted the bible to break up with me
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I just want to make out with him forever
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
