I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
