so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
