Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
