I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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