Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
