my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
