she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
