I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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