with your own penis?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
