So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize