whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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