I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
