Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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