It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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