Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
