What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
