Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's always time for handjobs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
