Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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