Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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