is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
