Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
