thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
