He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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