Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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