I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
