he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
