I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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