I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
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