Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
