the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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