Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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