Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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