is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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