I hate your face
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
