You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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