The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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