So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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