He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
