He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
me + whiskey = a bad person
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
