After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Randomize
