Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He passed out mid-signature
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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