It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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