Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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