I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
