he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
