it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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