I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.