BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
