Fuck appropriateness.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
