I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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