dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.