we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
