I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
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