You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
