My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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