What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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