that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
