Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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