I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
