I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
