apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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