no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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