ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
