Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
