she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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